Sunday, 23 May 2010

The Great Big Green Saudi Monster

You may be mistaken to think that all in Saudi live in har-money. That may have been the case decades ago. But its a different story now.
It has been developing for quite a while now, a keeping up with the Jabers mentality. As money has replaced all scales of comparison, all the public complain about now is how low there job class/grade is compared to their needs. Inflation & the poverty line are the new popular jargon.
And once in a while, the powers may be, will grant a pay scale enhancement to a particular group (this year it is teachers, last year it was doctors) and all hell will brake lose in the media. As newspapers will turn into comment battlegrounds between the receivers of such benefits defending the decision, and everyone else saying that they don't deserve it/they are already overpaid/our job class demands the same increase.
This shows a very serious change in the collective personality of Saudis, as they were known to "love thy brother" suddenly, its "screw thy brother, better me than him"
I don't know if this is a poisonous taste of things to come, but if hatred is brewing over future toilet paper, I wonder how stable the jar is really.

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

The Saudi Death Toll or Fee

Riyadh is drowning, with water this time. And while officials could squirm out of responsibility with the dust storms. This time, they can't do an encore.
Billions of dollars were spent on contracts to make sure water-sewage were optimisied in the most important city of Saudia.

And, just as what happened in Jeddah, another catastrophe strikes. Buildings collapsed, trees toppled, cars submerged, and tunnels turned to canals.

Needles to say, there were casualties. That is expected in a pour that turned traffic into stepping stones.

(picture from here, more as well)

When jeddah gate happened, the King gave orders to compensate each family with a death with $1000000 Riyals (about $280k). People were taken by surprise and some vile scum didn't have time to act, so murder for profit amongst inharmonious relatives were kept to a minimum. The fear here is that many may think this may hold similar plunder potential and have planned out their deeds.

We need a CSI unit flown in, and have them bring some sewage and flood experts as well.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

The Day Saudi Population Decresed by 10%

All this talk about having women drive, and all giving their 2 hallalas about pros and cons.

One aspect is that if women are allowed to drive, then within 6-12 months, the population would go down between 2-5 percent (that's over a million) This figure constitutes the number of drivers.

So not only will there be a huge saving in labour costs, but the infrastructure would benifit with the reduced user base.

Now, couple the women's driving license with a gun permit, and you can further reduce the population a 5% when women shoot stalkers/flirters/playas.

Saturday, 31 October 2009

The Saudi Golem

If you've spent enough time in a Saudi 'professional' environment, you would realise that innovation isn't the establishments strong suit (unless your are talking about innovative gossip). The gears here have rusted long ago, and it has become an unwritten clause in a managers job description to squash the asspiring spirits of new/fresh blood.

There is an initial resistance to this, but with no alternatives but becoming a thief that steals gas canisters, or a junkie drifter that plays car bowling with spectators, being an employee has become a process of dehumanizing the masses.

There is no work ethic, just blind following, factions within the same company are reminiscent of clans of yesteryear where managers would send/transfer key employees to become their eyes and ears and no more.

In fact, getting a job, especially in a government sector would mean sacrificing yourself and morphing into a golem, a creature thats sole purpose is to do your managers/masters bidding.

With the oil boom going toward the inevitable climax, and thousands of Saudi students green with their inexperience of the Saudi workplace, there are bound to be some archgolams in the future wreaking havoc or breaking down with that reality collision.

Friday, 23 October 2009

The Saudi Beholder

The saudi psyche is infused with a fear of the evil eye. For those of you unfamiliar with the phrase, it is a supernatural phenomena that causes trauma and misfortune to the recipient of this curse. The source of it is an envious glance or gaze.
So what people do usually to avoid this is hide their fortune and bliss. Appearing as poor slobs, better safe then handicapped.
Stories(rumors) of the evil eye crop up and fuel the panicked masses from time to time, like cousin Jude that bought some cool boots only to fall down a flight of stairs after being admired by cousin sam. Sam gave her the evil eye, and a leg cast for 8 weeks.
The evil eye can also cause organic damage, like rashes, speech impediments and arthritis. These ailments are not curable by medical procedures, as they will reoccur like a demonic spore. The only way it can be removed is if the person whom originally gave the deadly gaze would spit on the victim (or the victim drink after the perpetrator, essentially, an exchange of bodily fluids must occur).
Many attribute their misfortune to the eye, losing in the stick market, a car braking one day after warranty expiration, or cake falling on their new carpet.
Overall, there would be some truth to this, but having the eye as a scapegoat for every misfortune is just an escape from reality. Just be careful if you have a bit of visual appeal, as beauty might end with the evil eye of the beholder.

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Saudi Ass-Ass-Ins

So theres talk about opening up the sale of handguns in Saudi. No waiting period, just a SR500000 Bank Guarantee. Which is the equivalent of a '5 accidental death' coupon.
See, the law here does not take into account inflation, and killing someone accidentally does not result in the death penalty, but a SR 100000 fine (US$26500) that was set in the 60's. So your covered for up to 5 fatalities.
This move is no doubt a response to the Khobar city mobs which destroyed part of the seaside commercial area, with the poor workers having nothing more than plastic forks and spoons to defend themselves. The rioters got away Scott free and only a handful were flogged for show.

Martial law makes a whole lot more sense, no more excessive spending on the police and military (Oil isn't forever), no more confusing paperwork (education isn't forever).

My only concern is that the import of these guns will be regulated, if video games are any indication, a teenager would be able to go to a back alley and purchase a Colt with the new bootleg of GTA for less than the price of a meal in the restaurant he plans on mugging next national day.

Thursday, 15 October 2009

Saudi Amateur Porn

Contemplating a 'Squeeze' or 'Pinch' (No relation to story)

One thing off the table, there is no porn industry in KSA.

That said, there are two types of documented smut in this land.

First: The hormone crazed jerks that flood the net with the images and videos of masked and veiled sexual antics, as well as pics of girls they conned with fake promises of love ever-after.
Second: And this is a segment still unawares, is wedding photographers. See, this has been making the rounds in the underground scene. Wedding photographers are in many ways, very persuasive, and as they tend to take many engagement and prewedding photographs, they do enjoy some voice of authority projected by implied experience.

And most of them are women, so they give an impression of caring non threatening aura in a male dominated society. Furthermore, the bride and groom to be are naive and trusting and will follow her instruction to the letter as to not be blamed for ruining the moment.

So what happens is, the photographer would ask the couple-to-be to make out, pose in very embarrassing positions, and otherwise, give a recorded collage of compromising imagery.

What happens to these digital images after they are printed is anyones guess. But with no legal backing, these images and videos may become part of private collections for perverted individuals that not only get their voyeur material delivered, but enhanced and preserved in gloss as well.